i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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