In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
