he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
