i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
