Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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