Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
