Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
