i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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