this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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