Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize