There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
