i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is the high leading the old right now
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
