He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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