Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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