I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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