I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize