I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
