I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
