i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
