just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize