This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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