Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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