i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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