he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
