You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
