They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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