Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Randomize