I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize