My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
