please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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