dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
