doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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