maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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