be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
