i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
