well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
