: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
