She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
