if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
