god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I supernannyed him into submission
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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