His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
