And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
