If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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