Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.