Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.