Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
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  (650): View more from California

  i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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  (650): i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick http://tfl.nu/pgxx
  Replies (39) Good night (3707) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?

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  (704): I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right? http://tfl.nu/ljg3
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  (347): View more from New York

  she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

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  (347): she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick. http://tfl.nu/o2a1
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.

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  (509): Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/26kw
  Replies (14) Good night (1271) Bad night (5459) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart

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  (815): Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart http://tfl.nu/4qqp
  Replies (19) Good night (7531) Bad night (1389)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???

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  (614): Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale??? http://tfl.nu/bzai
  Replies (6) Good night (3190) Bad night (1130)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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  (727): pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club.... http://tfl.nu/k1jz
  Replies (2) Good night (1795) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?

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  (910): This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/41ta
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate

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  (804): I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate http://tfl.nu/clkd
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  (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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  (209): So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility http://tfl.nu/15q1
  Replies (7) Good night (1306) Bad night (667)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?

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  (973): Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire? http://tfl.nu/uthj
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid

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  (406): Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid http://tfl.nu/t6fb
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo

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  (402): dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo http://tfl.nu/g9sl
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this

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  (774): It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this http://tfl.nu/0f23
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt

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