hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize