Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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