Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize