I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i drank out of a bidet.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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