Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
birth control should be required to get into college
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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