Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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