The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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