They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I will be naked everywhere
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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