The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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