Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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