Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize