Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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