Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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