Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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